(But Sort of Did)
Since some of you have inquired about Peanut's name, I thought I'd offer a little explanation as to why we are not telling people his real name.
|February 24, 2013|
|February 24, 2013|
It is Jewish tradition to name a baby boy at his brit milah/bris (ritual circumcision). The bris is supposed to occur on the eighth day of a boy's life. However, Peanut's bris has been postponed until after he his home from the hospital and healthy enough for the procedure.
Gaby and I felt that it was important for us emotionally to call Peanut by his real name from the very start. It is hard enough to have a new baby who does not live at home with us, who is primarily in the care of others. It would have made things much more difficult for us had we not been able to use his name when speaking with him, and to each other about him. His existence, his presence, was thus all the more real to us. I know it seems odd to discuss the "realness" of a new baby boy. But this is an odd situation. There are two social workers at the Saint Barnabas NICU, and they have both said that it is normal to feel disengaged and detached from a NICU baby, especially if the parents are not able to spend all day, every day in the hospital.* Sometimes, the beeps, buzzes, and ringing of the NICU, along with the busyness of the nursing staff, can distract us from a connection with our little one. And seeing the other babies can have a jarring effect. Some of them are so much worse off than our little Peanut, and it can be upsetting. And some of them are so much better off than our little Peanut, which in some ways, can also be upsetting. But despite all of this, when I am in the NICU, I feel a strong bond with my baby, especially when I am able to hold him. And I do believe that using his real name has helped me to solidify this bond.
Likewise, we believed that it would be incredibly important for Peanut's doctor and nurses to know his name. To see him not just as another nameless isolette, but as a human baby - a real person. And when his doctor calls me with updates, or sees me in the NICU, and uses Peanut's real name, it is very reassuring.
We have since decided to tell our parents and siblings the name. We have only told people his first name, and we feel comfortable with this decision. His first name is used in both English and Hebrew, so we can easily say it is his English name (even though it will also be his Hebrew name). For the sake of Misheberachs and prayers, everyone therefore continues to use "HaTinok ben Talia Tzila" or the equivalent, since he does not officially have a Hebrew name yet.
His middle name is a Hebrew name chosen for whom he is named after, and we will not divulge it to anyone at all until his bris.
For the Running Album of Peanut Pictures, click on this link:https://plus.google.com/photos/103259108749622540628/albums/5841939289365954881?authkey=CJ7Fj9K01pvHCw
*Incidentally, the social workers also say that they have never seen a parent not have a strong bond with their child by the time the baby comes home.